I told my wife I was going out to buy an envelope. Oh, she says, well, you’re not a poor man. You know, why don’t you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I’m going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, I don’t know. The moral of the story is we’re here on Earth to fart around.

Kurt Vonnegut (via porfaa)